Relationship manager

I have a friend whi works as a 'Relationship Manager' at a bank!! MUAHAHAHAH :)

Consistency

I hav a problem with consistency in some things. I cant keep doing them. I jaan churaoofy a lot. I think thats what happening with my blog too!

I hardly return lib books on time. That is me. Even rented cartoon movies as a child!!

Anyways, there are some awesome books out there! Theres one that seems really interesting! I am so ordering it!

Am reading Mukhtara Mai's autobiography these days. Really interesting. thats one strong woman.

Am also reading Breaking dawn at the same time!! Also need to start Harry Potter ki book 4!!! Ahh.
And oh, for books which deal well with humor, I'd suggest "Wild Designs". I forget the name of the author!

Work is super busy. I also have flu and gala kharaab! hmm.

a weird day

Its a weird day here today.

One of the maids recently had a baby girl. This is her 6th child. She already had 5 daughters and she and her hubby REALLY wanted a son!

She's sad. I have seen her pehlay. She has gone weak from so many pregnancies. They kept trying for a son. Uff. Yes, i understand the poverty and male heir debate. Yet, the sex of the child is not in ur control. They seemed so sure it was going to be a son!

And well, now, when the baby was born, her husband refused to even look at her. Its sad.

U know. Some people dont deserve kids, they just dont. U played a game (YES!) - it was a hit or miss. U missed. u got a daughter. now u r gona make her pay all her life. I doubt she will be loved. Its all crap. Parenthood i mean.

All u want is someone u can pass on the lineage to. U just want immortality and support. Love is an illusion for such parents.

And there are many such parents out there!

Elevators

I like elevators! They have mirrors :)
Hm. I havent watched avatar yet. Will soon. I hope it doesnt have a sad ending. I hate sad endings!!

I have been thinking abt the movie, "One fine day". George clooney is soo hot!! i wanna watch it again.

New hopes, new dreams. I wanna look ahead. Move on and savor the moment. Lahore weather is AMAZING :) SubhanAllah. Wow i love mild winters!! and well, i miss the rain though!

Going to get new curtains for my room soon IA. M soo excited! :)

Strawberry smoothie!

I wanna make a strawberry smoothie! Got any cool recipes??

But no strawberries in lahore yet!!

I am a tea freak!! Yup! I love sipping tea esp in lahore!!!

The weight watch

Ok. I have an idea!! Here's the thing, I hav been overweight since I was 12. I hav been overweight half of my life!! Will I b overweight more than half my life? Let's c. Its different being in a bigger body! Esp wen ppl assume a natural right on u- on criticizing u and telling u wat to do! Its frustrating really!
It is,. Khair. As I said, i have been overweight since i was 12. diets, starving, exercise - tried it all and gave it up too quickly. and lets face the facts/fats!

I dont wana spend my youth being overweight. I even want to be a pretty well-dressed and managed older woman - thats who I wanna be. Gotta start now. No matter how pretty u r, weight always plays a crucial role!!! And well, fat is lazy people!- i dont wana be fat :P

if u r a working woman, being overweight doesnt help. u get judged a lot. ur work does count a lot but ur body is the first thing people notice - yes they do and it can become a BIG battle ground for power.. in different ways. People commenting and all. Sure, u can say dont worry abt people - u try not to but after a point, this things gets haunting and frustrating. I have started telling people off - asking them to mind their own business.

But anyways, amidst the control of Naureen vs the world on Naureen, i am embarking on a journey now. I wana c how far I can go with the weight loss thing. Along with some updates, I will enlighten u as to whats its like being in a bigger body size - how it feels sometimes. What people ACTUALLY say. And baby, i know today its ur weight, tommorow its gonna be something else they comment on. ("Naureen tumhari aankhoon mein bohat distance hai :P) - yeah i have been told that too.

But whatever it is, I cant deny that the weight thing is there - i cant overlook the fat. So I choose to lose it.

Will Naureen accomplish her goal? Will she conquer the demon that all women dread?

I'll keep u posted :)

So lets me face the fats!! :)

My New YEars resolution

Woww! 2010 is here!

I pray that this year is awesome for all of u, AAMEEN :)

Here's my new years resolution: To try to be more thankful; to gaze at what i have and what i can create from it rather than what is waning and has perished!!

I hope i decrease my complaining and increase my thankfulness to Allah for what He has granted me :)

Also, i want to work more towards my Aakhirat. Wana think about death more. its a reality lingering, ready to conquer anytime. I want to be prepared.

And also, eat healthy and be healthy and not starve myself! And take care of myself :) :)

i think losing weight is every woman's new year resolution!

By the Way

And by the way, the pain goes away everyday :)

After I share my words.

Love,
N

The Ultimate Test

The ultimate test of all.

To love someone since the day you were born and losing them. Not physically but emotionally. Being taken in an isolated place where its you and the person you love. And seeing the monsters around them.. monsters that linger in memory of yours.

And you make a run for your life. For the person you love has changed. Your voice is the same. Loving. Strong, still has the "I will take care of everything" ring to it. Only now I know ur words are hollow coz u failed me. And everyday, I want to be near you again. And tell you that I love you. The conversation ends within me - my love is unacquired now - or rather, disillusioned. All the love I still feel within turns into sharp, pointed pieces of wood every day. And every day I sigh and bleed bit by bit. And I love you. I still do.

And everynight, I heal. A little bit from the wounds of my love, a little bit from the wounds of you.

One day I will heal significantly. One day. Its like writing drafts every day. One day I will nail this pain. INSHALLAH, one day I will and you will perish into obseleteness for me.

Such is the pain of love. This is the power of perseverance.

Love,
N

Love

And then it dawned on her.
How much she loved him.
What love was like in reality. In reality, love is a bird. it keeps flying and its free. No matter how close u r, u can never grab it. It is the fall of a person - the feeling after jumping. Being helpless. Dont know where u will land. On the mercy of Thy Lord is love.

And no matter how hard she tried. When she thought she really understood his love, the love waned. Its.... hard. She felt overwhelmed by his words and it made her crave for more. But the bird choose to fly ahead.

Will it come back? She doesnt know. She can hear the bird's occassional chirping though and feel its presence and a vaccuum left behind.

Love,
Naureen

ROmantic songs

I like romantic songs... i do :P
hmm my fav. ? I think its gotta be Ï knew I loved u by Savage Garden!

"Dada ke paas"

I was just walking back from the Accounts building. Its a beautiful day... I love winters..

They have a happiness in sadness...
I was reminded of something today. Something taht probably happened back in 94 or 95! Its been so many years...

My nana died in 94 - the first death in my family. I was 9 i think. It was.. awkward and weird. I dont register deaths very well. Leting go of people .. putting closures - its a tough spot for all of us isnt it?

I obsess about people dying -i cant stop talking about them. i cant stop thinking about them, their voices, their love, their existence, the last moments... it takes quite some time to collect myself. I guess we all deal with deaths differently - i freak out.

Lately, after a friend passed away, it has made me more .. thoughtful about my death. My aakhirat. I hope she finds peace and prosperity in her afterlife, AAMEEN.

I hope when i die, i am ok with it - i wanna be ok with death from now on - coz it can happen any time to any one of us. I hope i fill all my days with love and happiness and generosity for myself and those around and i hope i am able to reach out to people. to extend my hand.

Sometimes, i feel so cut off from the person i used to be, i cant face my old friends or people i knew. Its too hard. I'd rather start over.

Karachi for me is a sad place- a place with so many memories, i doubt i'll enjoy the place anytime. The sea shore depresses me. The people make me feel.. trapped.

Khair, so my nana died and i had little cousins... a lil cuz must be 4 or 5 i think. He really missed my nana (or his dada :) They were moving to the U.S. after nana's death... i remember vividly my cousin telling me, all excited and bubbly, "main America ja raha hoon, dada ke paas!" thats what his mom told him i think.. he was so excited! I hope he didnt remember this when he got there, boy, he would have been disappointed.

Children are so naive! They make me cry sometimes - kya pata aagay kya hai :p I wonder if someone looks at me that way, like a child, and excalims, "Issay kya pata!" :p

Hello

Sorry. Long time. No me!!

Was busy with stuff!!

Hey, tell me, if you jump off a cliff, waht would u want to happen next? (If anything was possible?)

Just wondering!!

Acceptance

A friend passed away in a car accident yesterday.

Car ulat gai motorway pe. She dies of a head fracture - she was unconsious at first but the hospitals nearby didnt have the right facilities.. So by the time she got to the third hospital, she passed away. May Allah rest her soul in peace.

Its sad. We have had pretty close moments. We were in the same classes during one point in time. It is too much to grasp. I found out at 3 am yesterday and the fact that she has passed away is not sinking in.

Please recite Surah Fatiha for her. May God give her family and friends the strength to face this loss, AAMEEN.

What do I blog about?

Hmm.

Here's a thought..

I just cancelled my GRE exam

I saw this man today.. weirdo... another student in my uni. You know one of those looks when men look at you hungrily - you can see it in their eyes. It was sickening. Seriously. He knew some of my acquaintances - he came upto them then. I hated him - eww. u know - i didnt realize someone's presence could disgust me so much!

Eids coming up!!

I think i like cats now - they are so fluffy and adorable but they do still scare me.

I met a dog this week called Twixie! Adorableeee!!!

I bought two sarees this week - gorgeous man!!

I have a winnie the pooh ka mat! :)

I am going to watch desperate houswives now :D

or maybe work on my applications :)

Buh bye!!

Whatcha doin?

The Austrian Incest Case - The Real Bastard (WTF)

This is another post for the WTF column. ( If u wanna know more about the WTF column, click here )



Joseph Fritzl, the real bastard, says, "I am sorry; I cant make it right anymore."



Yeah, right. That is SOO just SHOO sweet Mr. Fritzl - that is exactly what we want to hear. Bloody hell.




You RAPED your OWN DAUGHTER constantly for 24 years. Oh no, here's the damn catch, you have been sexually abusing her since she was 11. She tries to run away when she was 16 but came back again. (of course, where can she really go?). At 18, she tried to run again. She came back. You locked her in the basement! And then on for TWENTY-FOUR years you kept her in a dungeon. Seriously?





And oh, you are sorry! Damn your ass Mr. Fritzl. Even if you are mentally sick - which I am sure you are - nothing you did is justified! You deserve to be castrated repeatedly - I wouldnt mind personally doing the honors.

People such as him should be treated in such a way that its an example to the rest of the potential criminals. And what about his wife?Seriosuly! One messed up man and wife!

You can see the manhoosiyat on his face.

tring Tring!!

Hello!!! I attended A's wedding over the weekend! A is one of my closest friends. Please join me in praying for her - May she have a wonderful life ahead (and May you do too) AAMEEN. :) There were roses on her wedding! I lovvvve roses!!

My left eye is twitching since yesterday! it is really annoying!

i love winters here- the fog is AMAZING.

"If winter would say, 'spring is in my heart', who would believe winter?"
-Khalil Gibran!

Beautiful Shot

Lovely portrait! The woman has so much elegance.. I love the simple, happy feel of the picture!!

I think the picture portrays a happy womanhood you know... a jolly, happy, smiling life.

I wanna photograph like that!! :)

Fever

Naureen has fever...

Yeah she does!

Brrr. I rested the whole day!! Yeah its better - cudnt sleep at all last night!!

Pray for me :)

Naureen.

Fluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Hey,

I have flu.. what else do u expect to happen when u go out in the lahore cold and thandi hawa after taking a bath. I covered my head but thought i didnt look 'cool' so i took off the shawl :P

Man,
I have had fluuu!! Half an hour to go and then a meeting at 7 today... i think i am gonna rest.

Had a really romantic lunch today. Stop. Romantic means eating lunch in the winter breeze. I had a light lunch. I have started hating the crowded PDC. its so loud and annoying! yeah. I sat on a bench in a garden and had lunch :D Yayy! And yes, i was alone :P

maybe i should make myself some coffee right now? Hmmm.